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posted on:
7/10/2012 2:44:12 PM EST
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Boom!
marriage, commitment, relationship, commit
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I am part of the “Baby Boomer” generation. My generation helped to destroy the once very common long-lasting marriage. We were the first generation where divorce became very common. My own parents were married 63 years and my grandparents, 55. Yet all my parents’ children, 4 in all, have been married more than once.
In earlier times when people married, they entered the relationship knowing that it would be permanent. They had no more or fewer disagreements than people have today, but for most, escaping the marriage was never considered.
Today, way too many people get married with, “If it doesn’t work out, we can always get a divorce” in the back of their minds. They don’t consciously think that way of course, but it is a seed germinating, ready to bloom when challenges in their marriage arise. I think fewer people with each generation are willing to make a lifetime commitment.
My husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary on January 1, 2013. We were both married previously, neither of us for as long as 20 years. We are both certain we will be together forever. We have disagreements. We are two very different people after all. However, we never raise our voices in anger, never call one another names and never cuss at one another. At all times, we show respect for one another.
My sister brags that she and her husband have been married 35 years, but she has also told me that they scream and yell at one another and use filthy language when they “fight.” Hmm. Is this a “good” marriage because of its longevity?
Today my husband and I were discussing the poor marriage record of Baby Boomers, and we realized that although divorce is common for those our age, we actually know several people who have been married for a very long time.
We have several couple-friends who have been married more than 30 years, the first marriage for two of those couples. In fact, we were surprised to realize that most people we know have been married for 20+ years. Since so many people divorce these days, how is it that we have so many friends in long-lasting marriages? Do people in good marriages attract or seek out others in good marriages?
I have found a similar attitude in network marketing team members. Most are unwilling to commit to their business, while a small percentage commit fully, whatever it takes. I have developed a few close friendships among my co-workers. Like the long-married couples we know, those close friendships only seem to be with those who have a similar passion for their business that I have.
Will the next generation and the next one after that commit to relationships and to their work, or will commitment become less and less common as time goes on? Of course, I do not know, but I pray it is the former.
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 | | Great article, thanks for sharing. |
| | |  | | Thank you Jack & Judy for the well wishes and for your feedback.
So many in our generation and our parents' as well, mostly men, made the same mistake Jack. In our children's generation, many women are doing the same. Sadly, it appears that some things don't change. |
| | |  | | Great blog Julie. First I want to wish you and your husband another 40 or 50 happy years together. I wish I could brag a little but I can't. I've been married twice before. My first was short, only 4 years but the 2nd was almost 16. I screwed both of them up because I thought work was more important. Well let me tell you, it isn't. Continued success to you and your hubby. |
| | |  | | Congratulations firstly on your long marriage. It is rare these days, so pat yourself on the back. Second, this blog is a great read. The similarities you point out are pertinent and I hope like you that the next generation will be more committed to whatever they take on. |
| | | | | Congratulations Galina, Steve & Vicky for committing to lifetime marriages.
What I didn't mention was that I was suddenly widowed at 38, leaving me to raise my two sons alone. I was married to my late husband for 16 years. So you see that I don't give up easily. |
| | |  | | Great blog, Julie! Married for 31 year and doing two businesses I truly believe in... sometimes I think those two businesses are marred as well (well, not for as many years though, but I am sure they will stay together for a while! :)) |
| | |  | | Great observation Julie. One explanation I've heard is that we're the first generation to be brought up with TV where all problem are magically wrapped up in half hour time slots and everyone is happy again. The fact is that marriage takes work. I think there was a social stigma that was removed as well. When I was younger, it seems that divorcee was a bad word almost. |
| | |  | | Great blog Julie. Vicky and I have been married for 37 years, all of them happily and will celebrate our 38th on March 2nd next year. We truly believe in the vows and wish more people would believe in them rather than just recite them. Thanks again and Congratulations, your husband is a lucky man |
| | |  | | Julie I really enjoyed reading your post, and I'm not even married. It's because you spoke the truth, marriage is supposed to be forever and the world today seems to think that if it doesn't work, just get a divorce. No, no, no this is wrong and this is not what God intended. ~Terri Pattio - MLM Coach/Mentor with a servant's heart |
| | |  | | A great article Julie, I've often wondered what it was about the boomers and their divorce stats, I can only speak for myself regarding my 2 marriages and divorces, but I think it had a lot to do with the popular culture at the time. TB&L my friend |
| | | | | Since I too was divorced many moons ago, I am in no place to judge anyone else for doing so. My blog is simply an observation.
I don't know how long you've been with your biz Jamie, but if you stick it out and work it, your team will grow. |
| | |  | | As far as my downline, I have a person that I put into my business, but he's kinda laxy daisy about things, but then I have another that is exploding, so I'm just trying to find more like him to fill the ranks and build our business so that we all will be prosperous and successful. That's all you can really do. |
| | | | | I understand where you're coming from. Myself, I was married for 10 years and i called it quits and left. Couldn't take the arguing and sometimes physical confrontations. Things just got to the point where its better to leave than to stay. So i don't agree with staying forever in a marriage through a bunch of stress and craziness. My motto is: If you cant get along, leave. I feel so much better that I've done so. |
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