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Dorothy Neddermeyer
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Dorothy Neddermeyer   My Press Releases

Qualities of an Effective Mentor or Coach

Published on 10/15/2018
For additional information  Click Here

When I am conducting a mentoring or life coaching conversation, I am laser focused on how to create profound and lasting transformation in their lives.

But many mentors or life coaches don’t know how to do this.

Instead of facilitating a transformational mentoring or coaching conversation, many mentors/coaches end up having aimless, wandering conversations that help the person feel good… but don’t actually create real change in their lives or endeavors. So, when I say, "I mentor/coach people to achieve Financial Freedom, that is what the person will achieve provided they allow the process to work and they 'stick with it.' 

So how do you know when you select a mentor/coach if they can assist you to create achieving extraordinary results that propel you to achieve your dreams? 

Discover the answer here:

1. Ability and willingness to communicate what she/he knows

Does she/he clearly explain what she/she knows--and is willing to take the time to do it. Or does she/he use jargon, the acronyms, rehearsed statements and the buzzwords. Being clear when she/he communicates how she/he would approach your needs, or the strategies or guidance she/he is offering is essential, as is your level of desire to communicate the intricate details in a way that makes sense and that you can understand and learn from.

2. Preparedness

Being a mentor/coach means making an important, serious commitment to someone. Does she/he explain the process in a clear, concise style, while giving the respect you deserve.  Does the mentor/coach offer faith in your abilities and in the process where you are at. This isn't a stream-of-consciousness deal or a "go-ahead-and-pick-my-brain" process. Yes, it's important for your mentor/coach to actively participate and even take the lead in your conversations. Your mentor/coach needs to ask what topics or subjects you want to talk about beforehand, and once you know, you need to outline the key points you want to focus on ahead of time, and have a plan ready for imparting your details in an effective and expedient way.

3. Approachability, availability, and the ability to listen

The mentor/coach needs to convey a comfortable style of being approachable to ask him/her for advice or consults.  However, with the understanding he or she needs to keep his/her availability and schedule in mind. Establishing a set day and time for regular meetings in crucial. In this hurry-up-and-make-it-happen world, it's important for both persons to be prepared and make the most of the time you've agreed upon. You owe it to yourself, to the process, and to achieving your goal. And once these time parameters are established, you need to keep your commitments wholeheartedly and be ready to listen well and with an open mind, along with providing information to fine tune the process.

4. Honesty with diplomacy

Any questions that aren't addressed can lead to concerns and problems, so you owe it to yourself to be candid and straightforward with your mentor/coach. Dispense with formalities and really dig in to open up a lively dialogue--a give-and-take--and don't beat around the bush in laying it on the line. If the feedback or suggested process isn't working for you let your mentor/coach know. For every concern/issue  there are infinite solutions--if one thing doesn't work another or another will. Remember Edison said, "I know hundreds of ways how not to invent a light bulb, I need to find one that will work." Say what you think to your mentor/coach not what you think he/she might want to hear. Be willing to debate and discuss in a tactful way. Provide useful, honest feedback while ensuring that you can take the reins and make it your own. Remember only a small tweak, shift or nuance might be the key to success. As you learn you will be making more decisions as to next steps or the best course of action. A highly effective mentor/coach will give you tools, skills and solutions that work best for you and your goals. In your selection process ask the mentor/coach how she/he would walk you through a scenario.  You can give an example of something that needs an immediate solution. 

5. Inquisitiveness

Being a mentor/coach also means she/he needs to continue learning about what's going on in your industry or business, your school, your community, or the world at large. If a mentor/ coach seems set in accomplishing the mentoring/coaching process in one way and one way only....consider it a red flag. Remember: What worked a decade ago may not be optimal today, and what works today may not work as well one, two, five, or more years from now. AND what might work with 20 other people with the same issue to resolve, doesn't mean it will work with another person. So, a mentor/coach needs to continually learn. And you need to be willing to make sure you get what you need. Your mentor/coach needs to keep an alert eye on trends, topics, and developments that may impact you or your role, both now and in the future. And if your mentor/ coach asks you something you don't know the answer to, do yourself and your mentor/coach a favor and follow up to find the answer. Such as contracts, laws, etc. 

6. Objectivity and fairness

Remember that a mentor/coach relationship differs from a friendship. Yes, you like your mentor/coach and care about seeing him/her, but that doesn't mean you would socialize with him/her or follow or friend him/her on social media--Twitter and Facebook. LinkedIn, specifically designed for business networking. Your paths might cross in business environments and a friendly exchange is a appropriate connection if you are at a professional event/setting. You might be inclined to refer colleagues or friends to him/her.  Also, ensure there's no hidden agenda or ulterior motives involved in this relationship. Outside of the mentor/coach relationship, you don't owe your mentor/coach any favors, and he or she doesn't owe you anything except his/her thanks. Equally, others who know you and your mentor/coach don't owe either of you anything. Your mentor/coach can be an advocate for you while still retaining his/her objectivity, fairness and not unfairly influencing any process either of you may be involved in.

7. Compassion and genuineness

Just because a mentor/coach needs to maintain objectivity and fairness doesn't mean she/he can't show compassion. In fact, your mentoring/coaching relationship will flow more effectively if she/he shows interest and desire to provide one-on-one help and guidance. A mentor/coach needs to be selfless about sharing what she/he knows. Keeping your goal in mind, to remain worthy of someone's trust, a mentor/coach needs to model positive behavior and successful performance, and offer guidance and advice toward reaching a specific goal. The compass that guides all highly effective mentor/coaching actions is--Open, Honest, Direct Communication with Integrity and Humility.


'Together We are Strong as a Tribe.''


Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Ph.D. - - 480-794-1561

Executive and Business Health Consultant

International Best Selling Author - Conceived  To Lead: Dismantling The Glass Ceiling Mindset

Board Certified Clinical Hypnosis & Time-Line Practitioner 

Board of Directors - Red Paper Clip Center -

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