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posted on:
6/8/2012 6:08:11 AM EST
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An Unhappy Topic
happiness is your right, are you truly happy, leting go when you can't hold on
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Once we are aware of our emotional needs it becomes impossible to forget them and once we become aware of our unhappiness we then realise the source and we cannot expunge the awareness. We know we have to make choices and when we become aware, we also realise we have the necessary power to follow through. Now that we know we must follow through, two things happen. We become filled with a certain excitement and then dread. It is a combined sensation that is both thrilling and threatening. It makes us ‘want’ to change those circumstances that are making parts of our lives less enjoyable and therefore no longer appropriate for us and yet the challenge of change seems to make us feel less able to alter those aspects of our lives that make us unhappy.
The mere thought of changing our lives leaves us listing on an ocean of unknown quantity because if we change we feel we are being disloyal to the familiar and comfortable we have come to know and trust. We learn the values of loyalty through our family and we carry it through to adulthood but how often we are truly loyal to ourselves remains a mystery.
Becoming loyal to herself may, for example, cause a woman to recognise a huge flaw in her marriage. She may, upon concluding that she cannot remain in the relationship, gently inform her husband of her intentions to leave whereby he will remind her ‘What about the children?’
What she now needs to contend with is the conflict of loyalty between herself and her family. She may decide to endure this unsatisfactory environment, keeping peace and harmony while remaining loyal to a group, her family but eventually her emotional needs will need to be addressed. She may have shelved her personal happiness for the sake of her children but sooner rather than later she will become so empowered that she will irrevocably realise that the mind can no longer reign over the heart. She will reside unhappily while she stays in a situation that no longer pleases her and she will be unhappy for a while as she pursues a divorce filled with guilt because she is being ‘disloyal’ to her team. Her guilt will be temporary.
Anyone, be it man or woman, who is not happy cannot heal until they change their circumstances. The situation or the people with whom they are associated are literally milking them of their own personal power and strength. The necessity to change makes these people terrified and yet they know consciously or deep within themselves that ‘pulling the plug’ from the socket of the unhappiness outlet is the same as saying farewell.
To heal yourself from an unhappy circumstance, you must take action. You are meant to draw on your own personal resources not release and relinquish your energy to others. You must find the wherewithal to leave behind the outdated belief that you must remain loyal to others. To be able to save both of you from drowning you must learn to swim first.
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