SELECTED PRESS RELEASE:
6/7/2012 3:38:38 AM EST
|You don´t have to be a people pleaser!
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Do you ever get the feeling the whole world wants a piece of you?
I have the hardest time saying no. Most people do.
It’s one of those things we do to mess up our lives quite often.
Why? Because we hate to disappoint.
Because we think it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Because we want to say yes and be more positive.
There are lots of things that stop us from saying no. Saying no is hard.
It´s also referred to as people pleasing.
Here’s my best advice on how not to be a people pleaser.
First, be very clear and polite. Start with a thank you. Thank you for thinking of me.
I´m going to have to pass. The problem with that is most people are most certainly
going to ask why? So, let´s try another way. Thank you for thinking of me.
I’m going to have to pass. My workload and priorities are such that I can’t add
this project to my schedule.
Often, you’ll get someone who pushes back. “What do you mean you can’t do it?
It’s only 20 minutes.”
This is where I have a hard time. Because they’re right. It is only 20 minutes.
The problem is that three of these requests is an hour. Twelve of these requests
is four hours. They add up really quickly.
My best piece of advice here is to repeat. Again, thank you. It’s great that you feel so
passionately about me participating. I am so backed up with other priorities that I just
can’t commit to this and deliver you success. I’m very likely to stumble or not complete this.
I’d rather say no now than say ‘I’m sorry’ later.
Personally, I’m an avoider and That’s even worse. Because I don’t do well at just saying, “You know, this isn’t going to work.” But that’s changed. It’s come from some recent changes in my perspective, in my priorities, in my realization of what I’ll have to do to find success.
When you arm yourself with practical ways to say ‘No’ in social situations and at work, you will feel empowered, and be much better prepared to deal with the barrage of requests we are all faced with on a daily basis.
The goal is not to avoid your responsibilities or avoid helping your family and friends.
The goal in learning how to say ‘No’ effectively it´s make sure that you don’t get
overwhelmed by external demands, so you can redirect your time and effort towards
the people and activities that are most important to you.
Until the next blog
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|Paul what you wrote is so true and I agree with Ed If you listen to your heart/soul you will always get the right answer. I got the right answer in a people pleasing just the other day. I said no and stood firm.|
|We all have to learn to speak from the heart! If the heart says no then the mouth should also say no...the same thing applies to "yes". When we speak from the heart, we are guided by a higher power! Thanks for sharing and continued success!|
|Great Blogpost.Keep up the great work.|
|learning really rocks Paul..|
|This is a problem for many of us - how to say no, especially to friends who almost expect a positive response.
Some very good suggestions there Paul - I shall tweet for you now !|