posted on: 10/2/2011 11:40:20 PM EST
Save Marriage: The Most Important Marriage Skill Could Be Listening!!
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The Most Important Marriage Skill Could Be Listening!!

Does This Sound Familiar

“You're not listening to me!” “Yes I am"

Many of us are guilty of not really listening to what our spouse is saying. although the lack of attention, is commonly associated with men, We women are just as guilty.

To really listen to someone else takes a conscious effort. This is a skill that takes work and time to learn. But, the effort is well worth it because the art of listening can work wonders within your relationship.

Both spouses get caught up in life and often start to close up in their own individual worlds, as listening stops, the relationship can go from “we” to a “me,”

leaving the husband/wife out in the cold. A spouse caught up in his or her own world, without listening to what the other spouses needs, becomes a truly self-centered individual rather than part of a team.

You “hear” the other person talking, but since you are so wrapped up in your own world, you don't really notice what your spouse is saying or maybe you are so wrapped up in your own needs you don’t hear the needs your spouse is expressing. As a result, your spouse may end up feeling unheard and unimportant.

Remember, any relationship is just that - a relationship. when you stop listening to the other person, and are only thinking about what you want, there is no relationship.

If you are willing to take the time and effort to commit to really listening, you will begin to note and understand what your spouse is saying. You will start picking up on his/her concerns, the hopes, and the fears that are important to your spouse. Sometimes the words are left unspoken, but when you build your listening skills, you will hear the underlying tones.

Generally speaking, men tend to think they have to keep their feelings under control and not show anything. as a result they get caught up in their problems that the wife don’t understand . As a result, they get a feeling of being shut-out and neglected, than the breakdown in communications begins..

We women tend to talk about our feelings there again maybe forgetting to listen. Although a women maybe think she is communicating well, it can be that she may be leaving no room for her spouse to express himself, therefore unknowingly ignoring the subtle messages hidden in what little her spouse might be spouse is offering.

By making an effort to listen - really listen - you will be able to understand your spouse better, and really comprehend those things they deem important enough to talk about. You may even hear something that needs more attention. But you won’t catch those things unless you listen well enough to know it matters.

Then you'll be able to take whatever steps are necessary to provide some additional support, and help your spouse through whatever is troubling him/her Once you perfect your listening skills, share your knowledge with your spouse. You both can benefit. Marriage is a two way street. You'll need your spouse to really listen to you sometime, too.

When you learn the skill of listening, you will start hearing what really matters to to you both. you then will understand what you do, or don't do, matters to your spouse, and your marriage. You may be amazed at how you can make things better in your marriage by simply listening to what is being said (or not said) by your spouse. Sometimes it's the simple t thing you could have been doing long ago… had you only truly listened.

This report is meant to help you maneuver through some of the pitfalls of a troubled marriage. It's not meant to replace marriage counseling, only to give you some thought provoking ways to challenge you and your spouse to consider building on what you have together and the feelings that brought you together in the first place, because, to put it simply...... divorce is ugly.

Ann Oakley
Independent Network Marketer

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