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posted on:
4/1/2012 3:45:41 PM EST
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8 Reasons Why You Should Send Me One Dollar
humor, april fools,
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Alertpay and Paypal have made it possible to quickly and easily send money over the Internet. This allows us to pay for all kinds of purchases with a lot less hassle. It also will allow you, everyone who reads this blog, to send me $1.00.
Being the cynics that you are, I know you're probably asking: "Why should I send you $1.00? I barely even know you. If I hadn't somehow stumbled onto this blog I wouldn't even have known that you exist. I still don't know how I came across this ridiculous blog, I was trying to find my brother-in-law's blog."
Since I know that humans are by nature untrusting, and I know that you can spare the dollar, I will now generously provide 8 reasons why you should immediately send me a buck. I don't think I'll need more than 5 reasons but I like to give people their money's worth. Plus I have a word count to think about. So without further ado:
(1) Sending me $1.00 will keep you from spending it on something pointless like the mortgage payment. You've been faithfully paying on that mortgage for years...it's time you had a break. And it'll only cost you a single greenback.
(2) Donating to a worthy cause can give you peace of mind which, in turn, will help you to sleep better at night. Giving me a dollar may not be as worthy a cause as, say, giving to the salvation Army, but I promise I will sleep better tonight and many nights thereafter if you send me that dollar.
(3) If I were sitting in front of a gas station smelling of cheap wine and wearing the same clothes I had on when I lost my job 8 months ago, you wouldn't even consider giving me a dollar. You would probably tell me to: "Get a Job, ya bum". I, however, am not sitting in front of a gas station, I'm sitting in front of my big screen television, and I changed clothes 2 days ago.
(4) I need to buy some Bling Bling! You're just not in the game if you don't have diamonds in your ears and ice on your neck and wrists. Plus I know a guy who'll give me a great deal on some gold teeth.
(5) Many great artists in history have depended on donations to finance their masterpieces. Your sending me $1.00 will allow me to do the necessary research for a masterpiece of an blog that I'm working on called: 'Going Out on Saturday Night and Getting Sloppy Drunk Using Other People's Money'. I'll be sure to acknowledge you at the end.
(6) Fellas, would you rather send me a dollar or have your wife spent it on yet another pair of black heels? Ladies, would you rather your husbands spend it on another one of those magazines that he keeps in that box in his workshop? I think not.
(7) Time is money. You're already wasting money by taking time to read this blog. Another George Washington won't kill you.
(8) The pens and paper I use to write these blogs don't pay for themselves. My high speed internet connection that I use to upload these blogs isn't free. I don't think $1.00 is too much to ask after the scores of blogs I have written and shared with all of cyberspace. After all, if it wasn't for my blogs you wouldn't appreciate the good blogs written by others.
So there you have it folks. 8 reasons to send me $1.00 via Alertpay or Paypal. As I suspected most of you were sold after Reason #5. I appreciate you waiting patiently until I finished with the remaining Reasons before rushing over toPaypal.com. Now that I have finished listing my reasons feel free to login and send your $1.00 to aprilfools@fooledya.com. And please hurry, the guy with the gold teeth isn't going to have those great deals forever...
Thanks Timothy Ward for the inspiration.
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 | | Nice blog Johnny Lee , it had me smiling all the way to the end and it almost 11 pm in FL and I did not realize it was April fools till now. Very nice. |
| | |  | | I need a good laugh! Happy April Fool's Johnny. |
| | |  | | rflmao - I would like to have a $10 spot please! |
| | |  | | Good thing that I know you and knew that it was April Fools Day. |
| | |  | | A nice artilce with 8 good reasons indeed
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| | |  | | When it comes to humor and April fools you hit it on the nail on the head. Great post lol |
| | |  | | LMAO! You my friend are really a piece of work. Absolutely loved it! Liked and tweeted. Jack |
| | |  | | I was waiting for the punch line ... never remembered it was April Fools Day! Your blog was very clever, John! |
| | |  | | Tricky, Tricky. Almost had me. |
| | |  | | LMBO, I was ready to send you a dollar John just for the originality. I couldn't find a paypal button, then I seen Sue's comment. DUH! but if there had been a paypal button you would be a dollar richer my friend. TB&L |
| | |  | | Great blog with an April Fool sense of humor! To your success! |
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