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Eric Kalberer
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Eric Kalberer   Home Page
I Write Badass Copy...

Subject line: Einstein and Elon Musk leverage it…

 

It’s the most powerful tool Man has ever invented…

Creating untold Riches for some…

And Allowing others to give the world invaluable treasures of
Insight and Creativity.

Unfortunately for most it’s just another benign object…

Littering their houses and offices, it’s treated as a forgotten relic of old.

A long forgotten item that really serves no purpose in this modern age.

Truthfully it’s not for everyone…

If the constant Hummm of the Matrix comforts you,
and you lust after the newest digital innovations…

Then you probably won’t be able to fully appreciate the subtle
elegance of such an item…

You’ll roll your eyes and begrudgingly use it out of necessity,
After which you’ll exclaim,

” I can’t believe we STILL use these things!”

“They’re so laborious to use and half the time they don’t even work!”

You’ve missed out…

However,

If you’re the type of person who values a
certain kind of clarity and peace of mind…

A person unafraid of Disconnecting…

And Going Dark…

You’ll appreciate the raw and unbridled
potential that this device can Unleash.

Now

In most cases with this item the functionality and the result are the same…

Like a vehicle, all of them will get you from point A to point B,

But

Is that all you really want?

For most people they like something they can rely on,

Something that’ll do the job and it’s not in the shop every other month,
like a Toyota or a Ford.

Something neat and clean and definitely not too pricy!

For others, they like something with a little flash!

Something that says “I’m kind of a Big Deal.”

Like a Tesla or a BMW that have the little extra extras,
with the turbos and the custom paint jobs.

Something that says to the average person,
I’m stepping up and I’m stepping out!

Now

For the select few…

Well,

They’re looking something completely different..

They purchase items not just for the luxury,

But for the Overwhelming Status it provides.

Trust me…

The Lambo and the Bugatti are not purchased just to drive to the office,

Or

Make a quick run to the supermarket to buy some Kiwi’s

No,

People buy these things because..

They’re Icons..

A Reminder of Influence and Stature..

A symbol that Instantly communicates Luxury
and Wealth without uttering a word…

Something that lives Rent FREE in all our psyches around the world.

Something Timeless…

So,

The only decision you have now is..

Where you find yourself in this spectrum?

Are you happy with an unreliable heap that lights up the dashboard with
maintenance suggestions and check engine lights every time you turn the key?

Or

Do you want something reliable that works with no hassles?

You don’t require the flash…

You don’t want the status..

You prefer Function over Fashion…

Just something that gets the job done every time,

without wasting time.

Heck,

it’ll do the same thing without all the GLITS so why pay more right?

We got you covered…

Sleek,

Efficient,

And Price Savvy.

No Problem…

But

Maybe that’s not YOU!

Maybe you DO want to turn some heads!

And maybe you DO want some FLARE!

Maybe you want something that says…

-I bet you don’t see this Every Day!

-Me keep up with the Jones’s ?

-Man, the JONES’ Keep up with ME! LOL!

You want something that lights up,

Has Laser Beams,

And sings Halleluiah every time you touch it!

You want the Ultra Upgraded Double Whammy
With night Vision and a Life Time Warranty!

We got you Fam…

But

Maybe you’re ready to Drop it Large…

Maybe you’re at the tippy top of the heap,
and you don’t care who knows it…

You are a person who’s comfortable with
the fact that you own something that says…

-Get the Jet Ready-

Where the price point isn’t an issue,

You’re looking for something beyond the reach of most…

Where craftsmanship and Quality Merge together so
seamlessly that it’s no longer “Just a Product”

It Becomes..

Fine Art…

A Unique Expression of the human condition,

And it’s yours…

Every time you have a desire for beauty,

It’s there..

Every time you want to stir the emotions..

You have unlimited access..

Like the Silence that separates the notes to
Your favorite composition..

It Resonates..

Now I’m not one for tacky sales tactics like scarcity or
limited time discounts but the fact of the matter is that…

There is quite a demand for all our products,

There is a limited supply because we use
the finest materials this Planet has to offer.

And

We are not afraid to raise our prices...

As our Master Craftsman can only create so
many of these Timeless Items per year…

As the supply goes down…

The price goes up.

Now this happens across all our product lines,

So…

Even if you’re looking at our baseline products,

Or

Our mid-tier Merchandise,

Right Now is the best time to buy…

We don’t do 4th of July sales,

We don’t do Bulk Pricing…

And

We don’t do the Norm..

We do…

 

Extraordinary,

 

Quality,

 

And..

 

Prestige.

Like the finest of Wines or an Exquisite piece of Music,


When it’s experience by even the most common person
with absolutely no former knowledge or previous interactions…

Deep within their Being they’ll intuitively know…

This is Fine,

Without a Word, they’ll Know..

This is Excellence Personified.

 

 

 

The prices are as follows:

 

You probably can’t afford it

You probably will never be able to afford it

And

Bill Gates can barely afford it.

 

Oh, We Sell Pens.

 

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