SELECTED PRESS RELEASE:
11/14/2011 12:53:45 AM EST
|Not When You are angry
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The last PEP-Talk I sent, had a link to an audio clip on resolving conflict.
Listen to it at www.bemotivatedtoday.com/content.asp?pageId=233&refcode=1256
I want to flesh out a point I made in that audio a bit more:
Don't attempt to resolve conflict when you are angry. When you is angry, you often have the confidence and drive to confront an offender. Unfortunately, in that state, you are NOT rational and in control. As a result, you misinterpret comments and tend not to be interested in the other person's perspective on a situation. You cannot think clearly when you are angry and tend to say things impulsively. This usually escalates the conflict in the other person. Many people in a state of anger, tend to, distort the facts or blatantly lie, hurl verbal abuse, condemn and blame others uncontrollably. The result is greater conflict.
Remember that once you've said it, you can't take it back. If you are still angry, then don't confront. First calm down. You need to come across as friendly when resolving a conflict. If you are angry the other person will be defensive. In this state they will not be honest or in the right frame of mind to apologize sincerely. Even if it takes a week to calm down after an offence was caused, you first need to calm down.
If you or the other person is angry, simply excuse yourself from the situation by saying: “I'm not ready to deal with this right now, but I would like to resolve the issue when I'm feeling a bit better.” If the other person is angry don't say: “You are too angry and can't deal with the situation” or “We can talk when you are not so angry”. These comments will only fuel the person's anger. You can prepare the ground for the actual conflict resolution now by choosing your words wisely. Say things like, “I know we will be able to sort this out”. “I look forward to chatting with you about this later though.”
The last thing you want is to get into a deeper argument and create more conflict. More conflict usually results when trying to resolve conflict in a state of anger.
Never attempt to resolve conflict when you are angry.
It does not work!
Be all you can be.
With Fond Regards
Platinum member - Be Motivated Today
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