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Tom Riach
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Tom Riach   My Press Releases

I'm Dreaming Of An IBO Christmas

Published on 12/14/2014
For additional information  Click Here


I'm Dreaming Of An IBO Christmas” is an original copyrighted WakeUp2Wealth Press Releases written by Tom Riach (that's me above) from my home in the sunny south of Portugal.

Wake Up 2 Wealth

Wake Up 2 Wealth's CHRISTMAS View Of The World! - NO SNOW!!


Deep in pre-Christmas slumber, there I am on Ebenezer Scrooge's doorstep singing heartily along with the IBO carol choristors :

I'm dreaming of an IBO Christmas

With Kris Karafotas and her crew

Bobby B and Bernard Gill, Lesley Pope and Don Merrill

Marlene Harris, Myrtis Myles and Jaye and you.

Yes I'm dreaming of an IBO Christmas

Of Crystal King and Melvin White

And Bill Bateman, Rich Savoir and yes that's right

Of Bev Austin with each PR that I write …..

Christmas morning. I awaken. Not a sound. It's been a silent night, calm and bright. But I fully expect rain because Rudolph, a gay, communist forecaster on the weather channel has predicted it and, as we all know, Rudolph the red knows rain dears!

I wrinkle my nose. No aroma of turkey roasting. I open my eyes. Fairy lights blink but no presents. I get up. The house is deserted. I look outside. There is my present!! It is sitting on the doorstep, adorned with a huge bow. I assault and shred the wrapping. Yippee! Just what I wanted – an IBO Toolbox!!

Inside the box are all my favourites, an IBO Tube, an IBO Exchange, an IBO Social Profile and lots of IBO Gigs to play with after Christmas lunch. What a lucky boy! And as with any serious toolbox there's an assortment of hammers, chisels, saws, pliers et al to keep me cursing, bruised and bloody-knuckled for many Christmases to come! But … what the dickens is this weird tool? Oh no … It's a spammer! Well we don't want any of those in our IBO Toolbox do we?, so I grab it/him/her and roughly toss 'it' aside. Oh dear, 'it' flattens Tiny Tim Cratchit hobbling nearby. That cooked his goose poor little sod, and just when he thought his Christmas couldn't get any more scrooged up. But I chuck him a handful of humbugs to compensate and to pre-empt his call to the Make Someones Christmas Miserable Personal Injury Claims hotline.

But where is everyone? At the Dancing Ferret! Leaving my new toolbox (and Tiny Tim nursing a black eye and sucking humbugs in the gutter), I run to the pub. I push open the door. Darkness. Silence. Then lights suddenly blaze. James Lumpkin, David Snell, Dennis Thorgesen, Gary Brennan, Jack McLaughlin and everyone else rush forward, "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!"

Randy Ireland sticks a pint of Old Stoats Breathe in my hand while George Galvin thrusts a bottle of IBO Tribe Palm Wine (look it up)! in the other. Sandy Blomstrom, Marian Aitkens and Cynthia Parrot are toiling at the range, "Cow bladder stew comin' up me hearties," and Lonnie Shipe is cleaning everyone out organising wheel chair races along the bar and winning every time. George Pierce has a pair of knickers on his head. “What are they to do with Christmas?” queries Marnee Masales. “They're Carol's!” Marian Gurowicz, Don Sabelhaus, Nichola James, Frances Richardson, Lonnie Glosup, Rik Rodrigues, David Kilburn and all the other usual suspects (you know who you are) are puzzling over a killer question in the IBO Christmas quiz. "Is the IBO forum human or is it dancer?" No contest.

Outside a bonfire. Atop it an effigy. But of whom? "It's a spammer," says Pastor Harley with evil glee. Todd Treharne lights the bonfire then later croons, "I didn't start the fire!"(!?!) We all hold hands and dance around it as in some satanic IBO rite. That's when I realise that we're all starkers! It's as I am dashing ape-like and naked up the motorway performing back-flips and hand-stands that I'm caught in the full beam of the patrol car's headlights. "Just come quietly sir, there's a good fellow. The Dancing Ferret? yes yes of course." "What's this Dancing Ferret 'e's on about?" whispers the younger officer of his senior. "Up on the moor son, old pub, derelict these 15 years." The slow drawn "Aaaahh" of dawning comprehension.

Even half cut and gibbering I realise that my by now traditional Christmas day in the cells beckons, to be followed by a morning-after-the-claret-before charge of assaulting everyone's favourite Christmas cripple. Oh the shame! The door slams. Keys jangle in the lock. "But what about my IBO Christmas?", I slur to no-one in particular as I slump on my bunk. The ghost of Jacob Marley appears, scolding me for my errant behaviour but I shoo him away, prefering instead the sweet tones of Bessie Mathis, Susan Bayerle, Terri Pattio and the IBO carol singers who have returned to soothe my torment. My most imbecilic of inebriated grins melts across my sleeping face as they break into …...

Have yourself a Merry IBO Christmas

Leroy Ross and Doug Kaapana too

Bob and Shirley Rushing where would we be without you two?

And Bob and Lucy Shoaf and Velma Joseph to name just a few. .....

And for every one of you whose names I couldn't possibly fit in -



(yes … those are real sloppys … well it is Christmas)!

Tom Riach lives and 'works' in the sunny south of Portugal. This is his 'office'!

I'm Dreaming Of An IBO Christmas

Click on Joseph T.Riach, Freelance Writer to learn more about the author or to inquire regarding his work or commissions.

Email : Click Here

Tel. : (00 351) 914 021 159

Website : Wake Up 2 Wealth


is an original copyrighted Tom Riach press release, short and to the point. I hope you enjoyed reading about ”I'm Dreaming Of An IBO Christmas” and found it informative/entertaining. To learn more or to get in touch with me please visit me on my website at WAKE UP 2 WEALTH.

See you there! Regards, Tom.

© Copyright Joseph T.Riach 1998-2015. All rights reserved.

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